...Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God. Ruth 1:16 This is the journey of our lives...

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Hope:
the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best:
to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence.

Disappointment:
to defeat the fulfillment of (hopes, plans, etc.); thwart;

Hope and Disappointment usually go hand in hand. Today is no exception. Hope reigns eternal in my heart, even on the days that disappointment rule. On days like these (years like these), eternity must be really long to outlast this....I hope so.

I'm allowed days like these, I call them ugh days. They are usually met with a type of yearning for Eternity, I remember feeling this way even as a small girl. I was a bit more dramatic about it then. Embarrassingly I'll admit to laying prostrate and tearfully begging God to take me away...I laugh at myself when I think of it. However, today, I miss that girl who could so quickly move to tears and then back to laughter at the slightest hapy thought. Today I seem to be less dramatic and then also slower to recover. Usually a tearful poem about a mean boy would do the trick, screaming into my pillow, a hot fudge sunday....some of those things still work:). But mostly life gets bigger and more complicated and recovery is slower, disappointment lasts longer and hope diminishes faster. It reminds me how little faith I have in the reality of God's love. How big His love is and how real it can be when dramatics are put aside. The nagging at the back of my disappointment is a tiny sliver and that big love. When I actually let it slip in it can take the scream right out me...the mad poems about a boy are now a tirade of phone calls or angry typing..and even that soothes me when I remember the purpose..its not all about jumping ahead to Eternity, although it would be a shorter easier route, and I'd been there since I was 12. So I realize in my feeble wisdom that being eternal minded doesn't mean skipping out on the purpose.

3 comments:

Doni Brinkman said...

Last night I told Heidi to listen to Amy Grant's song "Overnight" (you can find it on You Tube) because it has really been on my heart lately. Think you should listen to.

Lyrics...
So, you've handed in your resignation,
contemplatin' why nothin' turns out right.
A little fed up with all the disappointments,
so what's the point in wastin' any time?

It's only temporary, so what's your hurry?
No need to worry. Don't you know that,

(chorus)
If it all just happened overnight,
you wouldn't know how much it means?
Ye-ah
If it all just happened overnight,
you would never learn to believe
in what you cannot see,
oo-oh
what you cannot see.

I feel like pace is at a standstill.
Do I wait till it falls into my hands?
A long highway ahead, gettin' started.
Steady hearted, is what I think I am.

There's somethin' to be said for experience.
Who knows what's ahead. Keep on goin'.

Chorus

(Take it a day, a day at a time)
One foot in front of the other,
(Take it a day, a day at a time)
No need to hurry, hurry.
(Take it a day, a day at a time)
It won't happen over night.
It won't happen over night.

Have a little faith,
(Have a little faith)
Must appreciate,
(Must appreciate)
Every single day,
Don't give up, no.

Love you sister...

Aimee said...

Needed this post and that song too Doni. Brooke your writing is just awesome, you are eloquent even when I know you're not trying to be. So just know in writing about your own disappointments you give me and others hope, we can all lift eachother up!

Brooke Zimmermann said...

Love you sisters!