We are all a mess...I promise

When you were pregnant with your first child did you ever dream about how amazing they would be?
Silly question, I know.
But I'm pretty sure we all thought that the combination our amazing "soon-to-be-tried-out" parenting pros of "I will never do that with my kid" expertise and the perfect genetic combinations that was mixing in our womb, our first born would be AHmazing and exactly what the world needed. Ok, I'm exaggerating...kinda. And then they were born and they were perfect in every way and any thing that may have been funny looking (and there was) was ignored and adored in every way possible. And for like the 2 days in the hospital with the undivided attention of professional staff and food delivery service, we were in fact, perfect parents.
And the digressing of our parenting skills, patience and the perfection of our babies slowly faded into the reality of what we call the HARDEST JOB on planet earth threatens to succumb us. We slowly realize that Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest and all the pretties at church make us feel like complete failures. How do other people do it so well, make it look so easy, so pretty?
They don't.
We all suck...I mean we all are in the same place.
And you don't figure that out until you have a long coffee date alone, without kids , and bare your soul as to how hard this job really is. And how we all thought we'd be better.
The best thing I ever did was surround myself with honest people and laugh at the perfect pictures on my social media feed, realizing their homes too, were pilling up behind the perfectly painted doors and handmade goodies on their tables. Because I knew too well that I posted all the pretty pictures too. That I was just as guilty as getting up at the crack of dawn on a Sunday morning to prepare for the day ahead so I didn't look a day behind.
I've not figured out the secret to a non-comparison life, but I've had 14 years to work through a lot of it, and have found myself embracing the beauty of my own chaos. Excepting my failures with grace and attempting my own version of awesome.

Homeschooling has added it's own level of try and fail moments. I've had years of melt downs and semesters of greatness, to then be told by my child that they'd figured out how to cheat through math for that entire  "great' semester.  And yet, the pull on my heart and soul to continue has gotten me through another year. And then there are these win moments, these precious times when my child learns to read, or do long division, masters the art of writing an essay. And I know that I played a part in that beautiful moment. It helps to have those times when I can pat myself on the back and pretend that somehow I made that happen. But the reality is, if I made that happen I made the hard stuff happen too, right? Nope, I'm not the author here. And I know this because I have kids who have learning disabilities and struggles that just aren't fair in my perfect world. I didn't author that either, because in my world everyone is perfect. But the author of the universe, He knows. He knew that one of my kids would struggle to read until the 2nd grade and then finish all 7 Harry Potter books in 3 months, He knew that two of my children wouldn't ever read maybe past the 5th grade and He also knew that that little punk (I mean my perfect child) would cheat all the way through a semester. And He knew that each one of them in their own way, was in fact His perfect creation, given the struggle that in time developed into this amazing grown up person. He authored me to be their mamma and gave me a way to have a perfect love for each of them(thank you divine intervention and those Fruits of the Spirit).

SO fail on mammas, teachers, wives, sisters... This job is the very hardest and THE MOST IMPORTANT one you'll ever do. And you get to allow the author of all, to do His perfect work in you and your children.

Give grace to those around you, we're all full of mistakes and piles of laundry shoved under the bed. It just looks better on other people because our lenses are so clouded with our own silly expectations.

Ephesians 2:10New Living Translation (NLT)
¹⁰ For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.