Stay At Home Mom's Eat Bon Bons and do other stuff Count Down:
10 things that are very true for SAHMs
1. My job is so amazing it's hard to choose just one job description when filling out important paperwork.
A. House Wife
B. Stay At home Mom
C. Domestic Goddess
D. Household CEO
Either way it's a bit difficult and would take me an entire page to fill out my job duties, it would be so much easier to just put: Doctor or Architect. So when I'm in a mood I usually put option C.
2. One of of my favorite questions someone can ask me is , "What do you do all day?"
After the urge to slap the smug smile that comes after it passes, I usually laugh and reply, "I sit on the couch and eat bon bons while my children harmoniously sing and dance their way through there chores and school work. Meanwhile the housekeeper and the cook are kept very busy".
Followed by the second worse questions is "Your just a mom?".
3. My Office
And it gets messy...like melted crayon stuck to your new shorts, rotted apple core, stinky 25 pairs of shoes disgusting. And I have an office staff that begrudgingly, half way, clean it up...For. Free. Don't be jelly.
4. I have interns.
Yep. They learn from me. They also mimic me and they are so impressed with me, that when I yell, or dance crazy, or we eat take out for a week, or I forget their in the car and start talking to myself (out loud).... they tell the neighbors, the check out person at Target and my Mother in Law every. single.detail. Ya, unpaid interns are an overrated perk of this job.
5. My co-worker's take naps and get a lot of breaks. This was not explained to me when I took this position. I get to look longingly at their peaceful time of rest and although I have the freedom to join them, by some unnatural phenomenon I'd be instantly filled with guilt as soon as I laid down to take my own nap and this looming list of To-Do's would fill my mind.
6. I have too much help. This is a phrase I never thought could be thought, let alone said aloud. How could anyone have too much help? It's as if my whole life I have wanted someone to help me out when I had a lot to do. UNTIL NOW! All I can think is please, don't help me anymore! I want my little helpers to go outside and play and I will do all the work BY.MY.SELF. I know its' a difficult concept to grasp. But trust me, you'll be feeding the kids bon bons outside on a little table you handcrafted before they were born. While you quietly and ferociously power clean for the few precious minutes they are preoccupied.
7. I get to stay up late, even all night.
If this is what you've imagined... You may want to stop reading now.
Because this is the unfiltered version: I am a party animal. And when I say animal I mean crazy haired, dark eyed, growling and yelping as I trip over the toys to get to the kitchen. Yes, my night life has become and continues to be mysterious. I never know if I'll sleep or not. I mean the suspense just about kills me.
8. I have a lot of time to get things done. I mean I'm home all day right?
Pictures don't lie...I get stuff done.
9. If I stay at home I'll get to see my friends a lot.
True...it's just your friends are little people, who are loud, and like to hug and kiss you, and you love more than yourself. They really are the very best friends you'll ever have.
Oh..and the friends who aren't living with you. You'd just better be sure, their little people like your l little people or you might have to find new friends. Just keep'in it real.
And finally, My very last Stay At Home Mom's Eat Bon Bons all day count down....
10. It's the very best, thankless, hardest job you'll ever have.
So do it your way, with you'r own style and flair.
Don't do it like anyone else.
And be proud of your developing multiple personality disorder...you'll need a different personality and parenting style for each child you have!
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